Baby Boomer

I haven't been able to decide what I think about Color Dreams, Inc. On one hand, they were probably one of the most inventive unlicensed game producers for the Nintendo. On the other hand, everything they invented sucked hairy monkey ass and I hope they die of syphilis.
Baby Boomer takes you on the wild, wild adventures of protecting J Random Baby as he crawls from the local park through the local graveyard and down to hell itself. I'm not kidding. Neither do I kid about the fact that after playing this game, you'll spend the next 4 days fighting the urge to go back and boil your hands just one more time.
They should have included a disclaimer stating that "Exposure to this game may cause blindness, vomiting, anal leakage, and your opposable thumbs to jam themselves into your eye sockets."
You use either the controller or the light gun to kill a random assortment of critters that come directly out of the basement toilet in my old apartment. Little Baby weenie Man crawls through in a straight line, never deviating course when he sees that giant pit that just happens to be straight in front of him.
What's pink and red and silver and run into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. I've suddenly got the urge to sift through the collection to see if there's a baby boomer hack with a fork baby. While I'm looking for one, here's another dead baby joke - What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? Nailing one to a dead puppy. What's blue and sits in the corner? A baby in a baggie. Why you shouldn't send me hate mail for my dead baby jokes? I'm still chewing.