AV - Mahjongg

After 6 long, long months, I get to the first of the games that focus around one of my favorite things on this planet. Naked women. Fuck beer, naked women are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Such is our obsession with naked women that we're happy seeing them even when they're rendered in all their 8-bit glory. Hell, fuck 8-bit glory, we were jacking off to orange legos in "Custer's revenge" for the Atari Anyway. *ahem* On to the game. Turning on the game, my ears are suddenly assaulted by the Nintendo version of a reject from Aphex Twin's last album. No worries, there's a chick on the screen and it looks like she would be happy to get naked if I push the right buttons. Nintendo sound off, Pink Floyd on, and lets see some tits. I will say this. The Japanese are strange, bizarre, frightening people who have a scary fascination with scatology, but they do know how to draw nice tits. Look at just about any Hentai if you don't believe me. At least, any Hentai that doesn't involve suspiciously underage schoolgirls. But we're off to a good start here. Let the jigglevision begin. Groovy. Not only do I get to see naked women, I get to choose. My own little Nintendo-harem. There are some more screens, and then: Um. Problem. I don't know fuck-all about how to play MahJong. I play awhile longer, and it's just like every other god damn mahjong game in the known universe. It makes absolutely no damn sense whatsoever. That's their plan, I realize. Those bastards have me beat. Sucker me in with the promise of naked nintenbabes, and then deliver the cockpunch. "Ha!" they're saying, "We got you, stupid round-eye American bastard! You play mahjong like sheep play piano! You suck. You never see tits now! Ha, Ha, Ha!!!"

Pricks.