Attack Mario (SMB1 Hack)

It's normally not in my nature to like a SMB1 hack, but I actually enjoyed this. And by "enjoyed" I obviously mean in the same fashion that I "enjoy" having my penis slammed in a car door. Which happens somewhat embarrassingly more often than I'd like to admit, due to the massive nature of my manhood. There are balance problems involved.
This mighty masculinity has also granted me mad gaming skillz that }reese{ does not possess, as he has obviously not been gifted below the belt as I have. In fact, in a study conducted by a bunch of coked-up supermodels, my genitalia were preferred in 9 out of 10 taste tests. And lo, I give to you - the rest of Attack Mario. Reese is a false prophet, had he the skillz, he would have found this incredibly disappointing and second rate screen just a few pixels away. Apparently, you have to run under the turtle thingies and hump your white-clothed clone.
On one level, this sucks hairy monkey ass. On a deeper level, however, it can be viewed as a conflict between you, the common man, and a vast right wing conspiracy to prevent you (the smelly toilet pipe cleaner and common man) from reaping the benefits of science (your clone in white, clearly referencing lab coats) as the government (hammer throwing cold-blooded reptiles) tries to keep you from it.