A game-by-game diary of my attempt to play every Nintendo game. From 8-Eyes to Zombie Nation and everything in between. Even that strange Christian game where you convert people by hitting them with fruit. Just wait. You'll see.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Babio (SMB1 Hack)
Time to chalk up another useless SMB1 hack. This time starring Babio. Is it just me or are we stretching things a little here? What's next, Richard Simmons-io? Dr. Frank-N-Furter-io? Michael Jacksonio? It's the same goddamn level too. Honestly, people, if you're going to use the same goddamn level over and over again, have the decency to set up your hack with a hot, mud-wrestling lesbian vampire, or maybe Jenna Jameson. Not fucking Babio, of all the harebrained cracknuts ideas. Of course, me being the dedicated man on the absolute bleeding edge of the razor going through the wrist of humor, I played it all the way through. Not that it took me that long, the level is over in less time than it takes me to find Brittany Spears porn. Bleh. Another one down, 5 more years worth to go.
Location: Terminus (Where All Rail Service Ends, Brother), Georgia, United States
I'm 27, a self-made oil, rail and steel tycoon whose combined income makes Bill Gates cry like a little bitch. I look like Johnny Depp, Christian Slater, or Brad Pitt, depending on which chatroom I'm in. I have a 19" prehensile penis that I use to hold my coffee while I type. I know where Jimmy Hoffa lives, and I understand the language of cats. I help old ladies cross the street and translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees in my spare time. I sleep only one hour a night. I make ice cubes with the power of my mind. I can touch MC Hammer. I know every rivet in the Russian T-34 tank. I've advised Presidents, slept with movie stars, and can organize my sock drawer in less than 23 seconds.
And I still have time to do this blog.
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