All-Pro Basketball

Jesus is coming. But he pulled out. Jokes like that are the reason God hates me so much. Which would also be why I get to unsuccessfully attempt to cope with the natural beauty of a SMB1 hack immediately followed by a sports game. I'm not a big fan of basketball to begin with. Unlike hockey, there's a complete lack of gore, and unlike football, players crashing into each other is actively discouraged. So what's left? A bunch of guys bouncing a ball around and trying to put it in a basket before the other guy. Yea. Lots of excitement there. I subscribe to a school of thought that believes that more violence should be introduced to our sports, not less. Sports players measure their salaries in the millions of dollars. Our soldiers don't get paid nearly as much. Therefore, my brain goes, as sports players are being paid that much more, there should be an added element of danger that our soldiers don't even face. For instance, randomly electrify the floor. Or the ball should occasionally explode. Or give a fan of the opposing team a revolver with six shots, place him in the rafters, and allow him to take potshots. As it is, though, one must resign themselves to the fact that as long as we have overpaid basketball stars who play with absolutely no risk of the ball they're playing with occasionally exploding, then we also have to deal with asinine games that bring that stupid, stupid game into the bedrooms of children far too lazy to go out and FUCKING PLAY IT THEMSELVES!