Akuma-kun - Makai no Wana

I've been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes reading Tucker Max and trying to figure out a way to accurately describe the feeling that this game gave me. I've decided that the most accurate I can be is that playing this game was like mental anal leakage. Like some sort of video-game kryptonite or intellectual ex-lax, this game made me feel like the brain cells that managed to survive this long were being loosely squeezed out of a dripping chocolate starfish. I am filled with the need to go wash my hands. Whether that's because of this game of because I just typed that last sentence, I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that if you game me a choice between playing this game again for ten minutes or being castrated, then getting slamfucked by a group of angry German men while being beaten to death with a cinder block, it might take me a bit to come to a decision. Plus it's in Japanese. Again. I'm sure that if the game were in English I might hate it less, but then again I bet that Rosie O'Donnell probably has a nice personality, too.