Akira

Akira was an anime that was released and did very well in America in a time when only sad, pathetic people locked in their parents basement beating off to internet porn at 14.4k knew what anime was. Since then people have hailed it as a masterpiece, one of the classics of the genre. These people are insane and need to be beaten with electrical cords. I will say that for the time, the animation was very good. The plot, however, was lacking something. A plot, to be precise. The movie makes about as much sense as Ozzy Ozbourne on a good day. I don't want to sound like an art fag here, but if I'm watching gratuitous violence, I like to know who's getting their limbs blown off and occasionally why. Akira: The Game is an excellent translation of the movie, in that it has the same complete lack of coherence, plot, structure, or anything resembling direction. In the end, though, that doesn't matter. Because your nice Uncle network_failure has given you the following cliff notes synopsis of the game and the movie. This is Tetsuo: This is Kaneda: Or maybe it's the other way around. I can't remember, don't care enough to look it up, and would rather give myself a prince albert with a rusty knitting needle than watch the movie again. Now, watch the following animation for the next two hours. This is the heart of the plot of Akira. In fact, you and a friend can even reenact the movie for yourselves. Just yell "Tetsuo!" and "Kaneda!" back and forth at the top of your lungs while occasionally blowing something up, until the cops show up and beat you down. There you have it. You don't even need to play the game or watch the movie. I have endured the pain for you. You're welcome.