Alfred Chicken

Somewhere out there, there's a game designer. He sits at home, listening to Enya or something, smoking a cigarette and drinking a lot of coffee and trying to forget that once, a long, long time ago, he was on the team that made Alfred Chicken. You heard me right. That pudwhacker was part of a group that through it would be a really good idea to make a game about a chicken. I tried to get into this game. I really did. After all, it's not every day that you get to spend 15 minutes pretending to be a chicken that's strung out on a 4 month heroin binge and showing every minute of it. Well, to be entirely honest, that is my standard Dragon Con costume, but then again I look really, really bad as Princess Leia. Alfred Chicken also lives in a world full of cheese. Guys, I really, really wish I could make things like this up, but it's impossible. Think of this game like a bedtime story for the insane. "That's right, honey. Tonight I'm going to tell you about Alfred Chicken the Junkie Bird, who lives in a world full of cheese. He collects diamonds and divebombs mechanical mice. And, occasionally, just for fun and the amusement of a cruel, sadistic god, he explodes into a grand total of five measly feathers. You see, after all the drugs that Alfred did, that's all that's left. A beak and five feathers. "So let that be a lesson to you, my pretty one. Get off the fuckin smack or you'll be reduced to feathers and a beak in a world full of cheese."