Alice Cooper (SMB1 Hack)

For a little bit the thought of yet another SMB1 hack just about made me throw in the towel. It's not just the fact that I'm starting to think that this project might be better off being used as an interrogation device. It's also the fact that I hate Mario and want him to die a painful, painful death. When I was playing the one where Mario gets the cape, I would have endless fun flying high and then slamming him into the ground, and then imagining the multiple concussions and massive head trauma that would result. But no. That little fucker would get right back up, dust off his sewer-stained clothes, and go right back to taunting me. Ah well. As the captain of the Titanic said, "Fuck the iceberg, full speed ahead!"

Now here we have a hack of SMB1 featuring Alice Cooper.
At least, I think that's Alice Cooper. Cooper, as you all know, is a shock rocker that went out of style sometime in the 80's and hasn't been seen since. He's probably off banging Brittany Spears. Might as well, everybody else is. But I digress.
So the hack has Alice Cooper, playing the part of Mario, swimming through one single fucking stage that I swear I've seen about 14,000 god damn times before. Mercifully, the stage is over in less time than it takes Brittany Spears to inhale a Big Mac, and I can stop slamming my head into my desk.
Yea, yea, yea. So is my Xanex.
When asked for a comment, Alice Cooper is reported to have growled a lot and gone back to gnawing on someone's skull.