All hallows Eve (Ghosts 'n Goblins Hack)

As far as I can tell, this is how my average morning goes. I stagger out of bead somewhere around 6 am, mutter something incoherent but inevitably obscene about having to get up that early, then stagger off to get dressed and make a mug full of espresso. After something like 45 minutes of meandering through rush hour traffic the caffeine starts to hit and my eyes open. Thankfully, I never know about the string of carnage and destruction that I've left in my wake until later in the afternoon when I hear about it on the news. All Hallow's Eve is a hack of Ghosts 'n Goblins. I've never played it, but it looks like I'm going to hate it too. Anyway, from what I can gather, the game is about Sum Gie's morning commute. Except, instead of dealing with trying to figure out the coffee maker at 6 in the god-forsaken ass end of the morning, he's got to run around in a suit of armor and kill zombies. That pussy. Here he is, jumping over water pits and whining about dodging fireballs. Little bitch ain't got a clue what rush hour pain is until he sits in Atlanta traffic for 4 hours straight because some middle aged piece of shit having a midlife crisis decided to plaster his Mustang all over two lanes and spread himself over the other four. Fuck him. I hope he's dead. Grab a mop, clean him up, and let me get the fuck home. Oh. *ahem* back to the game. Yea, at some point, Sum Gie strips down to his boxers. 4 goddamn fucking hours. If I'm sitting in traffic for 4 hours, I want to damn well see bodies, blood and carnage when I finally get to drive past.