Banana Prince

In today’s video game flatulence we take a trip to Banana Island, in the Banana Kingdom. Under the rule of King Banana, I suppose. Right from the start Banana Prince gets off to a great start. You see, in a stunning turn of events, their banana symbol is stolen by the Pepper Dragon. Yup. That’s a dragon with a big bell pepper on its head. No, it makes no sense to me either.

Seems like I’m stuck in fruit and vegetable land for this review. That’s a little too close to being stuck in Nutritionist Land for my tastes, though. I’d rather be stuck in Jack and Coke land, but I’ll have to work with what’s in my glass, I guess.

On a personally surprising note, I actually kind of enjoyed this game. Not for any gameplay value, but mainly because I’ve suspended my policy of smashing my penis with a hammer before attempting to play any game. It makes me wonder if I was a vegetable prince in a previous life. Everybody else was Cleopatra or Napoleon. Since I actually played this game voluntarily for more than 15 minutes, I’d be willing to bet that I was a Vegetable Prince. Probably one who got cock-punched to death. That would be just my luck. Cockpunched to death by this evil boss, who seems to be a string bean.

Ok, that’s it, I’m going to quit. Some of you may still have illusions that I can justify my existence. I’d hate to shatter that.