Baltron

After taking a bit of a break from this project, I have to admit that I approached it again with a sincere, deep-seated desire to commit ritual suicide. But then again, that's pretty much my normal response when I'm faced with anything that starts with "A long long time ago..." I used to exclude Star Wars from that, but then Jar Jar happened and now I want to shove toothpicks in George Lucas's eyes.
Through a scrolling intro that was obviously translated by a blind Japanese man that had just been hit in the face with the nearest pay phone, we learn that the Bismark empire, with great power, blah blah, something something, is assembling the most distractive super weapon ever. Yes, my dearest readers, we have our first really good engrish of the project!Now I don't know about you, but if I'm an advanced alien race about to build the most advanced weapon of mass distraction, I'd go less for the whole scary boss spaceship style and more for the whole "Natasha Henstridge posing naked in an H.R. Giger chair" style, personally. And yes, here's proof that god is alive, well, and at least occasionally listening to my prayers.
Now that one's slightly censored, since I do occasionally access this blog from work, but since you and I both want that fucking black bit gone, click on it to get the large uncensored image. Just do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. I will not completely give up any commentary for the rest of these screenshots, as I and 90% of my readers no completely don't care, and will very likely not even bother to read this far. After all, that was a picture of a very naked Natasha Henstridge in an Giger chair. I think my penis just exploded.