Balloon Bros (SMB1 Hack)

Somebody, somewhere, must have read my mind when they were creating this hack. Well, not really, as there is a complete, total, and depressing lack of authentic photos of Gillian Anderson wrapped around me like a nymphomaniacal gymnast, but this is a somewhat agreeable runner up. Imagine Mario, that moustache wearing kick in my groin, tied to two hundred and sixty helium balloons. Tethered to the earth by a disintegrating willpower, with nothing but blue skies and death by asphyxiation above him. Nice picture, isn't it? Now temper that with a healthy dose of mediocrity and you've got Balloon Bros.
Oh yea. Even without those Gillian Anderson photos, it still warms my cold dead heart to see that rancid plumber deal with his greatest asset turned against him. The only thing that could possibly make me happier is to go megaman style and put fucking spikes on the ceiling. Still, if you hold down jump long enough, it just flies up and up and up and although you never get the joy of seeing it, I hope he ends up in space where his eyes explode in the vacuum of space.Where's my "Event Horizon" SMB1 Hack, that's what I want to know.