Arka-Boom (Arkanoid Hack)

Think for a moment, if you will, about the life of one of the game-hackers.
See him, there in his parents basement, masturbating furtively to photoshopped pictures of Brittany Spears when she was hot. Then a thought hits him right between the eyes. Or maybe it's his own sickly goo, I really don't want to think that far. He'll hack a game! And he knows just which one. But this won't be just any old hack, noooooo.
Like the One Ring of Mordor, (and he feel a slight stirring at the thought of Liv Tyler with her head buried between the thighs of that chick who played Eowin, whose name I'm way too lazy to go look up) into this hack he will pour out his bile, his venom, his undying hatred of the world because the world has not placed Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager in his bed, naked and tied to the bedposts.
And thus Arka-Boom was created. It's a sick sad world out there, guys. Stick with me, though, and I'll get you through it. After all, I know that Janeway and Brittany Spears pale to nothing beside the one, the only Gillian Anderson. I'm going to go abuse myself now.