A game-by-game diary of my attempt to play every Nintendo game. From 8-Eyes to Zombie Nation and everything in between. Even that strange Christian game where you convert people by hitting them with fruit. Just wait. You'll see.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Arena Mario (SMB1 Hack)
I don't know who this "Marc" person is who splashed his name all over this hack, but I hope you'll join me in cursing his name to the skies and all that's holy.This is the exact same cocksmoking, shitpit level that I've seen in about seventeen thousand hacks so far. I want to find these people, tie them up on the road, and "accidentally" back over them with my car 5 or 6 times.If I just skipped over every pathetic SMB1 hack, this project would probably be a hell of a lot shorter and a whole hell of a lot more pleasant. Buuuuuuuut no. I started this with the promise that I'm going to play all of them, and I will. I'm doing this all for you. I'm submitting myself to this torture for your amusement. I hope you're thankful.Except for you, Marc. Fuck you.
Location: Terminus (Where All Rail Service Ends, Brother), Georgia, United States
I'm 27, a self-made oil, rail and steel tycoon whose combined income makes Bill Gates cry like a little bitch. I look like Johnny Depp, Christian Slater, or Brad Pitt, depending on which chatroom I'm in. I have a 19" prehensile penis that I use to hold my coffee while I type. I know where Jimmy Hoffa lives, and I understand the language of cats. I help old ladies cross the street and translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees in my spare time. I sleep only one hour a night. I make ice cubes with the power of my mind. I can touch MC Hammer. I know every rivet in the Russian T-34 tank. I've advised Presidents, slept with movie stars, and can organize my sock drawer in less than 23 seconds.
And I still have time to do this blog.
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