1999 - Hore, Mitakotoka! Seikimatsu

Another Japanese game. Well, we'll call it a game here. In private I called it something else. And washed my hands afterwards. Due to the large number of NES games that were only released in Japan (partially due to the fact that we in the US do not, in fact, have permanent acid IV drips cybernetically installed) I have decided to learn Japanese. Not really. I'm just making this shit up.

"The year is 1995. From deep in space. In a UFO. It was kind of dinged up, like they had tried to parallel park while blind drunk. In just a few short years from the time this game is made, we will have blasted a large chunk out of the earth with our mighty explosive flatulence. I like muffins. The aliens hated American PigDogs almost as much as we hate them for not buying this game."

"1999. Year of the Cockblocking Weasel"

And then.....this. Um. Game?

Game? Why do you hate me this much? Why do you make Sum Gie have a nose that could inhale a kilo of cocaine in one good sniff? Where's my Jello?"

You do some stuff and push some buttons, and at one point I get this screen:

And I've got a screenshot, so I know it wasn't just wishful thinking. You see it too, right?